Restaurant Review: New England's Ale House Grille in Palm Harbor, FL

   
We've been in the area for well over a year now, but we had not stopped in yet, mostly due to our not being especially "burger people," though I am very much a "beer guy."  We were having one of those rare days when the stars all aligned and it seemed like the time to make our way to a good burger.  I initially heard about the Ale House by word of mouth from some long-time Palm Harbor locals, who said that the location had changed hands, was under new management and the new owners had turned it into a very pleasant eatery.  That will probably go down as the understatement of the year.  Saying the Ale House is a pleasant eatery is like saying Michael Jackson was a good dancer.

Overall:  5.0/5.0

How to Get There:


     If you're in Clearwater, just drive north through Dunedin on Alt-19.  You will see the Ale House on your left before you get to Tarpon Springs, just a few streets past Alderman Road.  According to estimates, it should take about 25 minutes to get there from Clearwater Beach, assuming there's no traffic (LOL).

     Price ($ - $$$):  __$__  Two burgers, a kids meal, and a couple adult drinks were right around $50.  If you want anything cheaper than that, you should consider a drive-thru window.

"Lower Deck"

     Ambiance:  Located on the west side of Alt-19, between Alderman and Klosterman, the Ale House is pretty hard to miss as you motor along.  In keeping with the theme of the Florida location, ample outdoor seating is available.  The "upper deck" is non-smoking and the "lower deck," or patio is the only seating area where smoking is permitted.  This is also where you will find a couple yard games, like bean bag toss.  If you are extremely sensitive to smoke, I recommend you go ahead and sit indoors.  The smell on the upper deck is not strong at all, but it is there if you are extremely picky about second-hand smoke.  Once inside, all you will smell is delicious food and drink, there is no smoke smell whatsoever.
     The decor of Bostonian sports memorabilia and 5 or 6 flat screens around the room do give the place a bit of a "man cave" feel, but the layout is very open, the front of house being just one large room, and it is well-lit with natural and electric lighting.  It's clean, too, and smells fresh, not sour like some bars will.  I don't know what their housekeeping secret is, but it may be just as simple as turning on the lights so they can make sure everything is sanitary.

     If you came to the Ale House with the idea that they would have beer, then your heart will warm when you see the broad deck behind the bar, 28 beers, 1 mead and a kombucha, all on draught.  About a half-dozen I recognized as local brews, part of the craft beer phenomenon we are so lucky to enjoy in the Tampa area.  There are maybe a half-dozen or more bottled beers, if that is your preference.  I should have been more adventurous, I know, but I just can't say no to a Cigar City Jai Alai on draught, and so that became round one.  Dessert was the mead by Black Fox Meadery down the street in Palm Harbor.  Mead is a very sweet brew, probably predating beer, made from fermented honey.  It is sweet, but this one was not as sweet as some I've had, it was definitely an adult beverage.  They serve mead at least two different ways here, but I opted to enjoy mine straight up.  It came slightly chilled with a single fresh blueberry.  It would have paired well with dessert, but for me it made a satisfying end to an otherwise exemplary meal.
     Also of note was our server Lauryn's extensive knowledge and familiarity with the ample beer selection.  So often I visit a bar with an emphasis on beers but the servers are clueless.  I don't know if they do blindfolded pop quizzes here or anything, but it was obvious she knew her way around the taps from end to end.  She also seemed pretty aware of the local brewing scene, especially close to Palm Harbor.  I'm sure someone reading this has had the experience of going somewhere with 50 taps or more that hypes up their beer selection and then you order something fairly run of the mill like a Hoegaarden and the server's eyes go blank and you have to point to it on the beer list.  This is not going to happen at the Ale House, they actually know beer.

Traditional Burger

    Food:  Now let me tell you about the burgers.  The Traditional Burger, with garlic herb butter, lettuce, tomato and red onion is basically the standard by which all burgers should be measured.  If your crazy Uncle Bob, the family barbecue master, ever made  you a hamburger before he started drinking hard on the Fourth of July, then you have had a burger on this level of bold, manly meatiness, the kind of burger that could only be attempted by a man who has dodged sniper fire in a foreign theater of war, or started a car with a hand crank.  If you are a no-nonsense burger lover, this perfectly-seasoned and cooked black Angus, paired with crunchy lettuce and onion on a toasty bun will satisfy you profoundly, and bacon and cheese are available as add-ons.  Barbecuing Uncle Bob would approve of this burger and so will you.

Orchard Burger

     The Orchard Burger was something different altogether, and it left me wondering if I hadn't been missing out on something really important all my life.  Maybe I'm just not the most creative guy around (really, I'm not), but whoever first got the idea to put bacon, maple syrup, a slice of grilled Granny Smith apple and cheddar cheese between two hamburger buns is nothing short of a genius and has my undying admiration.  I admit I was wary of the grilled apple, but decided I should pay the chef his due and try the burger as a package, as it was intended.  Boy, was that ever the right decision!  To be honest, the apple was not a flavor that stood out at all while I ate the burger, it played a supporting role for the maple syrup and bacon, and didn't really draw a lot of attention to itself.  What did play out was this sort of symphony where sweet was on one side and savory was on the other, and they took turns playing solos, duets and overtures with each other.  Bacon is a big deal these days, and rightfully so.  What I noticed most was its ability to play for both teams, sometimes chiming in on the sweet side, and sometimes supporting the savory black Angus patty.  It all served to create an incredible burger with a bit of a pancake aftertaste, and that combined with the taste of the bacon reminded me of Dad's camp  house breakfast.  It's not often a simple meal can take you back to childhood memories of Saturday mornings, cartoons on TV and Dad cooking bacon and toast in the kitchen, but that is how the Orchard Burger played out.  This is a ride I will be getting back in line for.
     The rest of the menu bears further investigation, as the Ale House has so much more to offer than beer and burgers.  Starters that caught my eye were the shrimp 'n grits, a delicacy from the Carolinas, and the Rhode Island style calamari.  Entrees I have added to my list to try next time are the flank steak with Parmesan fries, and the fish 'n chips with coleslaw.  There are 10 different sandwiches and wraps to choose from, and classic sides like mac 'n cheese and sweet potato fries.  If you work around Palm Harbor, you should consider them for a weekday lunch with the office crew.  One of these days I want to come back and try the New England clam "chowdah," something tells me they know how to make a decent chowder here.

     It's also worth mentioning that my small, picky eater was thoroughly satisfied with the kids menu, and her hardest decision of the day was choosing between the grilled chicken sliders and the mac 'n cheese.  The sliders disappeared in record time, as did the side of fruit, and I couldn't even get a picture.  The dessert menu looks like it's worth a try, even if I did have mine in a glass this time.  I'll have to inquire if the apple pie is made in house before I decide.
     Overall: 5.0/5.0:  With a name like New England's Ale House Grille over the door, one expects taps and a bar, and they have this in spades.  In my book, everything after that was just a bonus.  Upon arrival, not a single server passed us without a smile, a warm welcome and letting us know we could sit wherever we like.  Soon we were seated at a bar-height table (there are normal-height booths as well), next to a big picture window overlooking the nearby Alt-19.  With the friendliness of the staff, the relaxed vibe of the patrons, the comfy seat and the unassuming hominess of the sports bar decor, for a moment I felt like Norm when he would walk into Cheers and everyone would shout his name.  My kid soon lost herself in the complimentary tablets available at the tables, my wife started studying up about the black Angus burgers, and I was absorbed in the draught list.  Honestly I can think of no place I'd rather spend a Saturday afternoon drinking a beer and tackling some wings with my friends.  The fact that the food is out of this world really puts the Ale House into a category of it's own.  I wouldn't call it fine dining, there's nothing stuffy or expensive about it, it's just a next-level perfection of American bar food, with a regional flair from the Northeast.
     They do keep a full calendar, which you can find online here just click the "Specials" tab when you get to their home page.  Monday's $5 chef's burger and Friday's live music starting at 6pm are both on my To Do list.
     With all the facts and info out of the way I can really stop to tell you how I feel about the place.  I do not know the owners, nor do I know the history of the establishment, but I can say from experience, it feels like someone's lifelong dream.  You can feel it the minute you make contact with the seat:  this is no fast food chain with 15 minute seats and you are not a dollar sign to be turned over.  Someone put this seat here and they wanted you to be comfortable and enjoy yourself.  You are a valued customer and a welcome guest.  If I were picking a place to nurse a beer for a while, this is at the top of my list in Pinellas County.  In short, this is the kind of local business we love to see, the kind we'd love to see more of, the kind of business that we as a community should support through patronage and word of mouth advertising.  Give them a try if you're up this way, I know you'll be happy you did.

Annata: Probably Worth the Wait

(far right)

Restaurant Review:  Annata in St. Petersburg, Florida

Overall:  4.0/5.0

How to Get There:


Price: ($ - $$$): __$$__ 
     While this isn't even close to the most expensive place in town, it is well beyond the range of "cheap eats."  Without going too crazy with drinks and appetizers, you're probably looking at $80 to $90 for a couple to have a really nice dinner.  If your intention is to drink heavily with dinner, you could easily spend a lot more.

Poor iPhone needs to turn on the flash.

Ambiance:
     We visited Annata recently on a Saturday evening, a day and time in this part of St. Petersburg which seems to hold some magical charm for bringing people together to mingle outdoors.  As devout foodies, we did a good bit of online research beforehand, rifling through all the usual review websites, and then we went out and fully explored the area on foot, ultimately allowing our noses to make the final decision.  We arrived pretty early for Beach Drive and we were seated promptly.  Decor is what I would call "modern luxurious," meaning lots of glass and stainless steel, but plenty of wood in the right places to convey warmth.  I don't know who designed the interior, but it was a professional, not a hobbyist.  It's very possible I'm not as trendy as I used to be, but the lighting seemed very dim for a restaurant, perhaps more suited to a nightclub, or a hookah bar in Morocco.  In any event, I could barely see the person across the table from me, and I'm very fond of looking at her.  And you can call me crazy, but I like to see what I'm eating.
   
     The waiter was prompt, arriving at our table within minutes, recounting the specials and producing two of what surely must be flower vases.  To my astonishment he carefully filled the vases with drinking water, an arrangement which struck me as cumbersome the moment I saw it.  We placed our order, and the establishment soon filled to capacity over the next few minutes as the Saturday night rush, an upscale crowd, queued up and quietly drifted into their seats.
   
     From my chair I could see the window to the kitchen slowly filling with plates and I wondered "where must all the servers be to let the food sit like that?"  I scanned the room to find that nearly every server in the dining room was completely engrossed in the arduous task of filling the tiny mouths of these little drinking vases with water.  In truth I should have timed how long it takes to serve water to just one table here, to make sure I do not exaggerate.  Even more unfortunate is the rate at which one may empty these tall, slender drinking vases.  At one point I kept our waiter busy just filling my water glass for three full minutes, I was thirsty and I can drink faster than the vases can be filled.  Eventually everyone had water, and the appetizers left the window.  Thankfully ours was supposed to be cold, or perhaps leaving a plate in the window is some strange French, open-air aging method for cheese and crackers.

Menu:
     There's no kids' menu here.  Given the atmosphere and target audience, I don't subtract any points for that.  Annata is pretty grown-up, and a kids' menu would be very out of place.  The dinner menu is not overdone.  This is a small restaurant with a correspondingly small kitchen, and the fact that they don't try to offer more options than they can handle is a relief to see.  There is a little something for everybody, but it's all on one concise page.  CLICK HERE to see for yourself.

Appetizer:
     What we ordered for starters is called a "pick three" and I was soon wishing I would have opted for a "pick five," the cheese, meat and crackers go so well here.  We ordered prosciutto, chorizo,  and a raw tomme cheese from Georgia, our neighbor to the north.  In addition to the three items we selected, I was pleasantly surprised to see a few extras:  sliced, dried apricots, honey, bread, some small crackers and a whimsical sprinkling of clover.  The mix of sweet and savory found on this one small cheese board can only be described as blissful.  Soon we were conversing, laughing, trying different flavor combinations.  We enjoyed and savored this until there wasn't a morsel left that was big enough to tempt a gnat.

Main Course:    
     Once the first dish was whisked away, we chatted and sipped our beverages.  Annata is very big on wine, they are even called "Annata Restaurant & Wine Bar."  The selection by the bottle or by the glass is staggering, and any bacchanalian would be completely at home here.  They also have a small selection of fine brews on draught, and I chose a lively local brew called Jai Alai by the Cigar City Brewery in Tampa.  Jai Alai is named for the intense game we call handball, first invented in Northern Spain, and this beer is just as active.  A sub-tropical IPA, it dashes back and forth across the palate, refreshing, leaving pleasureful traces of sweet, sour citrus and bitter hops.  As far as beers go, you would likely have to abandon the Western Hemisphere entirely to find something finer or more complex.  While wine at Annata is served in conventional wine glasses and water is served in fancy flower vases, beer here is relegated to jelly jars.  Now, while I do embrace my southern heritage and I am not afraid of a Mason jar in any way, it did feel off-putting to be served in a jar at this location.  This is a fine-dining establishment with super-modern decor, located in some of the trendiest real estate in St. Petersburg.  As I looked around I could spy nothing that would be considered quaint or kitschy, everything was thoroughly modern and well-appointed, luxurious even.  The only way I can interpret this decision on the part of Annata's management is that while they do serve beer in order to cater a little to everyone, if you are uncouth enough to order beer at Annata, they will serve it up to you in the most redneck way possible, as if they were handing you a dunce cap and sending you to the corner for time out.  Basically they're saying that everyone else here is dining at Annata Restaurant & Wine Bar, but your table is now a honky-tonk BBQ joint...because it has beer on it.

Pork Shoulder

   
     When the entrees arrived I had to chuckle a little at the portion size, but they already knew by the Mason jar of beer beside me that I was going to have such an outburst when I was presented with these "haute cuisine," toddler-sized portions.  You see, the entrees are on the pricey end, but the portions are minuscule, the kind of thing you look at to admire, something to be appreciated with the eyes and nose, not something to eat.  I ordered the pork shoulder, and as a person who has actually seen the shoulder on a live pig, it was humorous to see 4 or 5 ounces of pork and a dab of mustard in the middle of a plate and call it "pork shoulder".  It was expertly prepared, sweet and savory at the same time, and paired with the stone-ground mustard beneath it, it was a real treat, the mustard serving as a sort of catalyst and adding tang to the overall flavor landscape.
   
     The grouper was well-seasoned, also a small portion, though not so humorously small as the pork.  The "farro tabuleh" underneath the grouper was a bit of a surprise; the word "tabuleh" typically conjures images of tomato and parsley, but this tabuleh was primarily a pile of whole grain.  Normally on a low-carb regimen, I readjusted my definition of tabuleh and enjoyed it to the last grain.
   
Dessert:
     This area is packed with options, we had to go for a walk and discover dessert down the street.  By the end of dinner the small place was packed, there was not a seat to be had, either inside or out.  Service slowed considerably, as if Saturday night on St. Petersburg's trendiest strip had somehow taken them by surprise, or staff had unexpectedly called off work.  While the waiter did bring my check quickly enough,  I waited and waited for him to come take my cash.  I was half way through scripting a fake heart attack on the floor when he finally came back to take my money.  I'm usually a pretty patient customer as I have been on the other side of the transaction before.  I don't remember the last time I started plotting to fake a heart attack on  a restaurant floor, or anywhere else, for that matter.  It took at least 10 minutes to decide to plan the attack, and I was about 5 minutes into the planning phase before he came and took the cover.  Five more minutes of planning and another 5 minutes of self-doubt in my ability to pull off such a stunt and I assure you a dozen patrons would have been dialing for an ambulance before I could hand the cover to the server.
   
Overall:
     It was a pleasant experience, if a bit outside my middle-class, middle-American comfort zone, and I'm giving them a solid 4.0/5.0 on my own scale.  Fortunately we did research the place online before we went, and it is in a pretty high-brow locale, so the comical "made for TV" portion sizes and myopic, über-foodie stuffiness were not a total surprise at the door.  Service was only slow when they were totally slammed and the rest of the time it was prompt and courteous.  I really do think they would see a revenue increase if they ditched the pointless water glasses and went with something more utilitarian.  So now for the truth or consequences:

1)  Would I recommend the place?  Yes, with the above caveats.  While Florida is a land abundantly blessed with many things, we do tend to lack fine dining on a lot of our beaches.  This is a bit of a drive from some of the beach areas, but if you're staying in the southern half of Pinellas County, it is an attractive option, especially if you're celebrating something and you'd like to go somewhere fancier than burgers at the beach.
2)  Would I go back?  Yes again, but I will not accept beer in a jar.  It's not a barbecue joint, so the jar is purposely out of place, either serve me beer with respect, or take it off the menu, don't treat me like the kid who has to sit in the corner at school.  And besides, even the most poorly-educated patron you could find will know that the only beverage you can properly and politely serve in a Mason jar is moonshine.