Quick Tips for Long Haul Flights

If you've never been on a truly long flight before and you have one looming ahead of you, this article is for you.  Please don't take this as the last word on the subject, and do look for others who can offer their own advice.  These are just my top tips that I've learned through personal experience, from the things I've done right, and the sum of all my mistakes.

1)  JET LAG.  
If you're going to be on a 16 or 17 hour-long flight, you're probably changing by several time zones.  Florida is exactly 12 hours' difference from China, and that is my number one long-haul flight, personally.
If you want to have the best trip possible, this will take discipline, be 100% accountable to yourself on this.  Set alarms and live by them.  If you set an alarm to wake up, wake up when it goes off.  If you need help sleeping, bring appropriate help (medicine, eye mask, neck pillow, ear plugs, etc.  More on that later).
So...when should you get up?  Big question.  I'll use the "Florida to China" example to show you how I calculate.
"Normal for me" = wake up about 6:00 to 8:00 am every morning, then bed by about 11:00 pm.  This is at most 17 hours awake on any given day.  I typically arrive in China around 2:00 or 3:00 pm.  So when do I need to sleep?  When do I need to wake up?  I need to wake up "about 17 hours before 11:00 pm in China".  Or "I need to wake up at 6:00 am (my normal wakeup time) in China...  For a typical 16 hour flight arriving at 3:00 pm in China, I will set an 8 hour alarm on my phone so that I sleep for 8 hours, then wake up and stay awake for the last 8 hours of the flight.  From 3:00 pm to 11:00 pm is another 8 hours, so I will be up for a total of 16 hours before my scheduled sleep time.
The other thing to remember is not to let yourself go to sleep too early.  I have a hard and fast "9:00 pm rule," no napping and no sleeping before 9:00 pm local time.  If you go to sleep too early, you will find yourself waking up at 3 in the morning, unable to get back to sleep, which will just make you super tired on the following afternoon, thus perpetuating the cycle of jetlag.  
Once I settle in, I try to get in a habit of showering at the end of the day, then walking somewhere to eat dinner, then taking a long walk around the neighborhood or a shopping area, and trying to stay out of the hotel room until about 8:30 or so.  I find that if I sit around in the hotel room in the afternoon, I will fall asleep way too early.

2)  How to sleep on the plane.  There will be small airline blankets in the overhead bins.  Be sure to snag one of those on the way to your seat.  In your carryon bag, you want to have earplugs, a GOOD travel pillow, a sleeping mask, and headphones.  Also, if you have difficulty sleeping, you may want to have an over the counter or prescription sleep aid, just know your body, seek medical advice if you need to, and make sure you're not going to take something that's too strong, or you might wind up oversleeping on the plane.  
Earplugs are great to have, whether it's to help you get some good sleep, to block the roar of the jet engines, or to keep you from having to listen to somebody else's baby scream for 10 hours straight.  
A good travel pillow will be worth its weight in gold, but a bad one will only become a burden.  I got the "Trtl Pillow" on a good sale, and I have been extremely happy with it.  It wraps up to a very small, lightweight package which stows easily, and when you use it to sleep, it wraps around your neck, keeping you warm and cozy and propping your head up comfortably.  You can even cover the lower portion of your face with the neck wrap part of it, which keeps you from breathing unfiltered cabin air and keeps your nose and mouth naturally humidified by the moisture in your breath.  
Sleeping masks are typically inexpensive.  Shop around and find a comfortable one, especially in case the person seated next to you wants to use the reading light for the duration of the flight.  
For headphones, I prefer the larger option, "on-ear headphones," or "over-the-ear headphones".  They take up a lot more room in your carryon bag than a set of earbuds would, but I prefer larger headphones for a few reasons.  First, because it's always obvious that you are wearing them, so the people seated around you will typically avoid bothering you, because they will think you are listening to music or to a movie.  Secondly, even if you don't go to the expense of buying noise-cancelling headphones, the large ear cups will still block out a lot of the ambient sound around you.  Lastly, the sound quality is often better, and I don't like the way earbuds kind of "shoot sound right into my head," I like sound that has at least a bit of room to expand and mature before it tries to make its way into my ear holes.

3)  How to stay awake on the plane. 
Back to your waking time on the long flight... when your wake up alarm goes off,  wake up, go to the restroom, wash your face, brush your teeth, and take a walk around.  Long-haul planes are typically very large, so there will be room to walk.  There will be a galley in the rear and another toward the middle of the plane, before you get to to the first class cabin, and I like to walk from one to the other a few times, pausing at each one.  Snacks like chips and pretzels will be openly available, so do avail yourself of them.  Water and other refreshments will be there for the taking, so make sure you keep yourself very hydrated.  Dehydration will sap your energy and leave you open to illness.  I've also learned that if you ask very nicely, a flight attendant is always willing to make you a fresh pot of coffee, usually because they could use a cup as well.
Eat, drink, walk a bit, and avoid illness and blood clots.  A toothbrush and some toothpaste are excellent travel companions, and keeping your breath fresh will help you to feel not only cleaner and refreshed, but also more awake.
Make use of in-flight entertainment, there are typically movies and music on-demand.  You can write in a journal or read a book, but whatever you do, keep your mind entertained and you will have an easier time staying awake.  Be prepared to be out of sync with the rest of the passengers, as most people will sleep for the duration of the flight.  Don't worry about it, you're doing the right thing, and they will have much worse jet lag than you in the coming days and nights.

All of the above tips require a bit of preparation, but you will find the reward is well worth the effort.  If you use the above method, you will typically be able to completely adjust to your new time zone within 2 days, 3 days at most.

Bon voyage!

Tampa Area Guide to: RESTAURANTS

Tampa Area Guide to:

RESTAURANTS

In all likelihood, I will come to regret publishing some of this information, but it's the truth, and ultimately no one can run from the truth.  We have been in this area for almost 5 years now and my wife and I are hopeless amateur foodies.  Eating out is a way for us to combine our love of food and adventure with long-standing commitment to support local businesses.  You will not see any nationally-advertised chains on my list of favorites, these are all local places, infused with passion and supporting local families.  Some are even our friends and neighbors, but it all started with that first bite.
Some of these places are in our own back yard, and some are in the more touristy areas of town.

Chinese Delivery/Takeout
“China” 13052 Race Track Rd, Tampa, FL 33626

(813) 749-8460

Fast, consistent, no MSG.  Delivers to all Westchase area.  This is frankly the only Chinese food in town that I feel safe eating.  There might be others, but the Tampa area seems to be very hit and miss on this front, so exploring the area on that basis can be a bit of a risky adventure.

Burgers & Taps:  

New England Ale House, 3419 US-19 ALT, Palm Harbor, FL 34683

Close to some of the beaches in Tarpon Springs.  Currently have 31 taps and 10 bottles available.  100% angus burgers, everything made in-house.  Family-run, great atmosphere, tablets at the tables for your kids.  This is a great, relaxed local place.  You can read my full review on the Ale House if you click on this link or go to:  http://flysomewherewarm.blogspot.com/2016/02/new-englands-ale-house.html

This place is a bit of a private oasis for me.  They serve some of the best burgers I've ever experienced, and the selection of draught beer is a delight to any enthusiast.  The atmosphere is laid back, and the service is always excellent.  Did I mention it's family owned and operated?  Really, if you want a burger and beer, this is your spot.  I'm already planning my next birthday dinner.

More Burgers: 

Frenchy’s Rockaway Grill, 7 Rockaway St, Clearwater, FL 33767

(727) 446-4844

Great burgers, try a Gulf Grouper burger!  Do not be intimidated by a long line, this is a tourist spot, and they will seat you way sooner than you think, and take care of you.  If you find yourself out on Clearwater Beach and you get hungry, this is going to be your best bet for good food, good selection, and fast service.  It's just a very short walk off the beaten path, a couple blocks North of Pier 61, so while most of the droves and crowds will be down by the pier waiting an hour for mediocre hot wings, you can head up to the Rockaway and sit down to a real meal.  I don't care how long the line is, I have always been seated in a reasonable amount of time, and it is always a shorter wait than what they have quoted me.  Once you are seated, you will be attended to.  This place is rather large and there are times during high season when every last seat is occupied.  Do not let this concern you.  Wait staff and back of house are absolutely professional, and this is their "normal".  Your server will take care of you, and your food will be cooked to perfection.  This is one of our favorite places to take out of town guests and it still amazes me how incredible the staff are here.  If this were a sports team, they would surely be Major League. 

Indian:  

Curry Leaves, 4843 W Kennedy Blvd, Tampa, FL 33609

(813) 319-4015

Midtown. Near Westshore Plaza.

Probably the best Indian food in Tampa.  Yes, it is located in a gas station, but it is a sit-down restaurant.  I initially discovered this place while gassing up the car.  "BP" is on my list of gas stations that is generally good quality, and we needed gas, so I stopped and filled up.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, the smell of good curry and hot samosas crept into my nostrils and utterly consumed my mind.  Friends, I was not even hungry at this moment, we had just come from dinner, but when I smelled this food, there was only one thought on my mind: "I must find the source of this incredible aroma."  Luckily for me, I didn't have to go far, it was right there in the other side of the gas station.  We have since returned several times and it is now our favorite Indian food in town.

Mediterranean: 

Fresh Bites, 11665 Countryway Blvd, Tampa, FL 33626

(813) 336-4936

Westchase.

Organic, hormone free, 100% homemade everything, made by a Lebanese mother and her family.  Need I say more?  Well, I will, but I couldn't possibly say enough.  "Tasty" doesn't begin to cover it, but it's a start.  The things they can do with lentils and lamb will sort of stretch your mind to consider new flavor and seasoning combinations.  I always leave this place with a smile on my face, a full belly, and newfound energy.  This is another one of our favorite places to bring guests.

Peruvian:  

Costanera, 3869 Northdale Blvd, Tampa, FL 33624

(813) 960-5820

Northdale/Carrollwood

Live music starts late on the weekends.  Try ceviche and jalea.  Fried yuca with huancaína sauce is also great.  There are other Peruvian places in town, and many of them are also good, but this is our current favorite.

Island/Caribbean:

Jamaican Tropicale by Jerk Hut, 513 N Franklin St, Tampa, FL 33602

(813) 223-5375

Downtown.  

The Jerk Hut isn't just a restaurant, it's also a destination and an experience.  We recently found out about the place through a friend and coworker who is Jamaican, so if she says it's "the real deal," then we can take her word for it.  All the other friendly people we met there agreed that this is the top spot in town for Jamaicans to get together, have fun, and relax.  We went on a Friday, and there is a cover charge at the door, but it includes a ticket for one free drink, live music, AND an all you can eat Jamaican buffet.  The band will have you rockin' and jammin' all night, and if you like island beats, you will definitely want to dance.  The buffet was a real treat, too, and there were both spicy and mild options to be had.  Honestly, it was a bargain, and we will be back.

The music is loud.  Maybe I'm getting old, but I will be taking earplugs next time.
#sorrynotsorry

Tampa Area Guide to: BEACHES & BEACH PARKS

Tampa Area Guide to:

BEACHES & BEACH PARKS

In all likelihood, I will come to regret publishing some of this information, but it's the truth, so publish I must.  The reason I might regret it some day is because every time you publish the name and location of a little-known, quaint local spot, you will slowly see it fill up with people, and then you have to put your thinking cap back on and go find yourself a new local spot.  I could try to prevent this from happening, but I'm starting to accept it as just part of the Circle of Life when you live in a sought-after, touristy spot.

Clearwater Beach 
This is already a jam-packed area during high season, but even locals feel like it's worth the hassle of getting in and out.  Clearwater Beach is fun, whether you're having a day in the water with your kids, or a night out with your pals, there is something to appeal to just about everyone's desire for fun happenings. Be sure to visit Pier 60 as the sun goes down to see all the notable characters and artisan souvenirs. 

The causeway ("that big bridge thing" for non-Floridians) can take an hour to cross during peak season, so do yourself a big favor, and see if you can take the water taxi at 100 Drew St, Clearwater, FL 33755.  It is possible to park for free in this area, and even the pay-to-park lots on the mainland here are much cheaper than anything you will find out on the small island of Clearwater Beach.  This is a tip that could really save you a lot of stress and hassle, so research it a bit before you go.

See www.clearwaterferry.com for rates & schedules.

Sunset Park

1800 Gulf Rd, Tarpon Springs, FL 34689
http://www.ctsfl.us/sunset%20bch.htm

Free to park, a very low-key beach full of locals.  There is a restroom here, which is typically open whenever the park is open.  Since it is a Tarpon City Park, it may not be open on all holidays.  We recently drove by the gate on July 4th, 2018 and the park was closed. Not sure if it was for the holiday, or for some other reason, like maintenance.  Swimming may be limited at low tide, but wading and sunning are always fun here.  The beach itself is nice and has plenty of sand to lie out on and soak up the sun.
I only have one request:  If you're going to come to Sunset Beach, please, please please do your best to help maintain the low-key, quiet local atmosphere of this hidden gem.  Don't crank your music too loud, and pick up after yourself before you leave, and we can all go on feeling like it's still a hidden spot.

Sunset Beach, Tarpon Springs, Florida

Fred Howard Park

1700 Sunset Dr, Tarpon Springs, FL 34689

Parking is free on the mainland, or $5 on the causeway or the beach ($5 lets you park all day).  Rent a paddleboard or a kayak, or sun bathe.  White(ish) sand, and not usually very crowded.  The very North side of the island always has the fewest people if you want to sun and read your book. Plan to come at high tide if you want to swim.  At the peak of high tide, this place can be a sea safari, you will glide over the wildlife, but still be very close to the action, maybe 4 to 5 ft above the sea floor.  Of course, make sure to bring a dive flag.  Venture out past the sandy area near shore, into the seaweed forests, and you are likely to see multiple types of crabs, sting rays, mullet and other fish, horseshoe crabs, and scallops.  I have yet to see any sharks at this particular beach, but don't rule it out.

                               

Jay B. Starkey Wilderness Park

10500 Wilderness Park Blvd, New Port Richey, FL 34655

A little further out, but worth the drive if you want to do a long hike or bike.  There's no beach here, but it's a different flavor, all its own.  Take lots of water, there is none available in the park.  Free to park.  The main feature here is a long, straight strip of pavement, about 13 miles long, which connects to the Suncoast Trail at the far end.  Free to park.

Tortoise is expected, and close-up deer sightings are common.  We have also seen numerous armadillo, raccoon, alligators, rattlesnakes and hawks on the trail.  Last week, a fellow bicycler said he'd just seen a baby bear.  We pressed ahead and did not see any bears.

There are off-pavement opportunities to hike and bike, though we have not explored them as much as we have the main trail.  

NEXT UP: 
Tampa Area Guide to:  RESTAURANTS

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Restaurant Review: New England's Ale House Grille in Palm Harbor, FL

   
We've been in the area for well over a year now, but we had not stopped in yet, mostly due to our not being especially "burger people," though I am very much a "beer guy."  We were having one of those rare days when the stars all aligned and it seemed like the time to make our way to a good burger.  I initially heard about the Ale House by word of mouth from some long-time Palm Harbor locals, who said that the location had changed hands, was under new management and the new owners had turned it into a very pleasant eatery.  That will probably go down as the understatement of the year.  Saying the Ale House is a pleasant eatery is like saying Michael Jackson was a good dancer.

Overall:  5.0/5.0

How to Get There:


     If you're in Clearwater, just drive north through Dunedin on Alt-19.  You will see the Ale House on your left before you get to Tarpon Springs, just a few streets past Alderman Road.  According to estimates, it should take about 25 minutes to get there from Clearwater Beach, assuming there's no traffic (LOL).

     Price ($ - $$$):  __$__  Two burgers, a kids meal, and a couple adult drinks were right around $50.  If you want anything cheaper than that, you should consider a drive-thru window.

"Lower Deck"

     Ambiance:  Located on the west side of Alt-19, between Alderman and Klosterman, the Ale House is pretty hard to miss as you motor along.  In keeping with the theme of the Florida location, ample outdoor seating is available.  The "upper deck" is non-smoking and the "lower deck," or patio is the only seating area where smoking is permitted.  This is also where you will find a couple yard games, like bean bag toss.  If you are extremely sensitive to smoke, I recommend you go ahead and sit indoors.  The smell on the upper deck is not strong at all, but it is there if you are extremely picky about second-hand smoke.  Once inside, all you will smell is delicious food and drink, there is no smoke smell whatsoever.
     The decor of Bostonian sports memorabilia and 5 or 6 flat screens around the room do give the place a bit of a "man cave" feel, but the layout is very open, the front of house being just one large room, and it is well-lit with natural and electric lighting.  It's clean, too, and smells fresh, not sour like some bars will.  I don't know what their housekeeping secret is, but it may be just as simple as turning on the lights so they can make sure everything is sanitary.

     If you came to the Ale House with the idea that they would have beer, then your heart will warm when you see the broad deck behind the bar, 28 beers, 1 mead and a kombucha, all on draught.  About a half-dozen I recognized as local brews, part of the craft beer phenomenon we are so lucky to enjoy in the Tampa area.  There are maybe a half-dozen or more bottled beers, if that is your preference.  I should have been more adventurous, I know, but I just can't say no to a Cigar City Jai Alai on draught, and so that became round one.  Dessert was the mead by Black Fox Meadery down the street in Palm Harbor.  Mead is a very sweet brew, probably predating beer, made from fermented honey.  It is sweet, but this one was not as sweet as some I've had, it was definitely an adult beverage.  They serve mead at least two different ways here, but I opted to enjoy mine straight up.  It came slightly chilled with a single fresh blueberry.  It would have paired well with dessert, but for me it made a satisfying end to an otherwise exemplary meal.
     Also of note was our server Lauryn's extensive knowledge and familiarity with the ample beer selection.  So often I visit a bar with an emphasis on beers but the servers are clueless.  I don't know if they do blindfolded pop quizzes here or anything, but it was obvious she knew her way around the taps from end to end.  She also seemed pretty aware of the local brewing scene, especially close to Palm Harbor.  I'm sure someone reading this has had the experience of going somewhere with 50 taps or more that hypes up their beer selection and then you order something fairly run of the mill like a Hoegaarden and the server's eyes go blank and you have to point to it on the beer list.  This is not going to happen at the Ale House, they actually know beer.

Traditional Burger

    Food:  Now let me tell you about the burgers.  The Traditional Burger, with garlic herb butter, lettuce, tomato and red onion is basically the standard by which all burgers should be measured.  If your crazy Uncle Bob, the family barbecue master, ever made  you a hamburger before he started drinking hard on the Fourth of July, then you have had a burger on this level of bold, manly meatiness, the kind of burger that could only be attempted by a man who has dodged sniper fire in a foreign theater of war, or started a car with a hand crank.  If you are a no-nonsense burger lover, this perfectly-seasoned and cooked black Angus, paired with crunchy lettuce and onion on a toasty bun will satisfy you profoundly, and bacon and cheese are available as add-ons.  Barbecuing Uncle Bob would approve of this burger and so will you.

Orchard Burger

     The Orchard Burger was something different altogether, and it left me wondering if I hadn't been missing out on something really important all my life.  Maybe I'm just not the most creative guy around (really, I'm not), but whoever first got the idea to put bacon, maple syrup, a slice of grilled Granny Smith apple and cheddar cheese between two hamburger buns is nothing short of a genius and has my undying admiration.  I admit I was wary of the grilled apple, but decided I should pay the chef his due and try the burger as a package, as it was intended.  Boy, was that ever the right decision!  To be honest, the apple was not a flavor that stood out at all while I ate the burger, it played a supporting role for the maple syrup and bacon, and didn't really draw a lot of attention to itself.  What did play out was this sort of symphony where sweet was on one side and savory was on the other, and they took turns playing solos, duets and overtures with each other.  Bacon is a big deal these days, and rightfully so.  What I noticed most was its ability to play for both teams, sometimes chiming in on the sweet side, and sometimes supporting the savory black Angus patty.  It all served to create an incredible burger with a bit of a pancake aftertaste, and that combined with the taste of the bacon reminded me of Dad's camp  house breakfast.  It's not often a simple meal can take you back to childhood memories of Saturday mornings, cartoons on TV and Dad cooking bacon and toast in the kitchen, but that is how the Orchard Burger played out.  This is a ride I will be getting back in line for.
     The rest of the menu bears further investigation, as the Ale House has so much more to offer than beer and burgers.  Starters that caught my eye were the shrimp 'n grits, a delicacy from the Carolinas, and the Rhode Island style calamari.  Entrees I have added to my list to try next time are the flank steak with Parmesan fries, and the fish 'n chips with coleslaw.  There are 10 different sandwiches and wraps to choose from, and classic sides like mac 'n cheese and sweet potato fries.  If you work around Palm Harbor, you should consider them for a weekday lunch with the office crew.  One of these days I want to come back and try the New England clam "chowdah," something tells me they know how to make a decent chowder here.

     It's also worth mentioning that my small, picky eater was thoroughly satisfied with the kids menu, and her hardest decision of the day was choosing between the grilled chicken sliders and the mac 'n cheese.  The sliders disappeared in record time, as did the side of fruit, and I couldn't even get a picture.  The dessert menu looks like it's worth a try, even if I did have mine in a glass this time.  I'll have to inquire if the apple pie is made in house before I decide.
     Overall: 5.0/5.0:  With a name like New England's Ale House Grille over the door, one expects taps and a bar, and they have this in spades.  In my book, everything after that was just a bonus.  Upon arrival, not a single server passed us without a smile, a warm welcome and letting us know we could sit wherever we like.  Soon we were seated at a bar-height table (there are normal-height booths as well), next to a big picture window overlooking the nearby Alt-19.  With the friendliness of the staff, the relaxed vibe of the patrons, the comfy seat and the unassuming hominess of the sports bar decor, for a moment I felt like Norm when he would walk into Cheers and everyone would shout his name.  My kid soon lost herself in the complimentary tablets available at the tables, my wife started studying up about the black Angus burgers, and I was absorbed in the draught list.  Honestly I can think of no place I'd rather spend a Saturday afternoon drinking a beer and tackling some wings with my friends.  The fact that the food is out of this world really puts the Ale House into a category of it's own.  I wouldn't call it fine dining, there's nothing stuffy or expensive about it, it's just a next-level perfection of American bar food, with a regional flair from the Northeast.
     They do keep a full calendar, which you can find online here just click the "Specials" tab when you get to their home page.  Monday's $5 chef's burger and Friday's live music starting at 6pm are both on my To Do list.
     With all the facts and info out of the way I can really stop to tell you how I feel about the place.  I do not know the owners, nor do I know the history of the establishment, but I can say from experience, it feels like someone's lifelong dream.  You can feel it the minute you make contact with the seat:  this is no fast food chain with 15 minute seats and you are not a dollar sign to be turned over.  Someone put this seat here and they wanted you to be comfortable and enjoy yourself.  You are a valued customer and a welcome guest.  If I were picking a place to nurse a beer for a while, this is at the top of my list in Pinellas County.  In short, this is the kind of local business we love to see, the kind we'd love to see more of, the kind of business that we as a community should support through patronage and word of mouth advertising.  Give them a try if you're up this way, I know you'll be happy you did.

Annata: Probably Worth the Wait

(far right)

Restaurant Review:  Annata in St. Petersburg, Florida

Overall:  4.0/5.0

How to Get There:


Price: ($ - $$$): __$$__ 
     While this isn't even close to the most expensive place in town, it is well beyond the range of "cheap eats."  Without going too crazy with drinks and appetizers, you're probably looking at $80 to $90 for a couple to have a really nice dinner.  If your intention is to drink heavily with dinner, you could easily spend a lot more.

Poor iPhone needs to turn on the flash.

Ambiance:
     We visited Annata recently on a Saturday evening, a day and time in this part of St. Petersburg which seems to hold some magical charm for bringing people together to mingle outdoors.  As devout foodies, we did a good bit of online research beforehand, rifling through all the usual review websites, and then we went out and fully explored the area on foot, ultimately allowing our noses to make the final decision.  We arrived pretty early for Beach Drive and we were seated promptly.  Decor is what I would call "modern luxurious," meaning lots of glass and stainless steel, but plenty of wood in the right places to convey warmth.  I don't know who designed the interior, but it was a professional, not a hobbyist.  It's very possible I'm not as trendy as I used to be, but the lighting seemed very dim for a restaurant, perhaps more suited to a nightclub, or a hookah bar in Morocco.  In any event, I could barely see the person across the table from me, and I'm very fond of looking at her.  And you can call me crazy, but I like to see what I'm eating.
   
     The waiter was prompt, arriving at our table within minutes, recounting the specials and producing two of what surely must be flower vases.  To my astonishment he carefully filled the vases with drinking water, an arrangement which struck me as cumbersome the moment I saw it.  We placed our order, and the establishment soon filled to capacity over the next few minutes as the Saturday night rush, an upscale crowd, queued up and quietly drifted into their seats.
   
     From my chair I could see the window to the kitchen slowly filling with plates and I wondered "where must all the servers be to let the food sit like that?"  I scanned the room to find that nearly every server in the dining room was completely engrossed in the arduous task of filling the tiny mouths of these little drinking vases with water.  In truth I should have timed how long it takes to serve water to just one table here, to make sure I do not exaggerate.  Even more unfortunate is the rate at which one may empty these tall, slender drinking vases.  At one point I kept our waiter busy just filling my water glass for three full minutes, I was thirsty and I can drink faster than the vases can be filled.  Eventually everyone had water, and the appetizers left the window.  Thankfully ours was supposed to be cold, or perhaps leaving a plate in the window is some strange French, open-air aging method for cheese and crackers.

Menu:
     There's no kids' menu here.  Given the atmosphere and target audience, I don't subtract any points for that.  Annata is pretty grown-up, and a kids' menu would be very out of place.  The dinner menu is not overdone.  This is a small restaurant with a correspondingly small kitchen, and the fact that they don't try to offer more options than they can handle is a relief to see.  There is a little something for everybody, but it's all on one concise page.  CLICK HERE to see for yourself.

Appetizer:
     What we ordered for starters is called a "pick three" and I was soon wishing I would have opted for a "pick five," the cheese, meat and crackers go so well here.  We ordered prosciutto, chorizo,  and a raw tomme cheese from Georgia, our neighbor to the north.  In addition to the three items we selected, I was pleasantly surprised to see a few extras:  sliced, dried apricots, honey, bread, some small crackers and a whimsical sprinkling of clover.  The mix of sweet and savory found on this one small cheese board can only be described as blissful.  Soon we were conversing, laughing, trying different flavor combinations.  We enjoyed and savored this until there wasn't a morsel left that was big enough to tempt a gnat.

Main Course:    
     Once the first dish was whisked away, we chatted and sipped our beverages.  Annata is very big on wine, they are even called "Annata Restaurant & Wine Bar."  The selection by the bottle or by the glass is staggering, and any bacchanalian would be completely at home here.  They also have a small selection of fine brews on draught, and I chose a lively local brew called Jai Alai by the Cigar City Brewery in Tampa.  Jai Alai is named for the intense game we call handball, first invented in Northern Spain, and this beer is just as active.  A sub-tropical IPA, it dashes back and forth across the palate, refreshing, leaving pleasureful traces of sweet, sour citrus and bitter hops.  As far as beers go, you would likely have to abandon the Western Hemisphere entirely to find something finer or more complex.  While wine at Annata is served in conventional wine glasses and water is served in fancy flower vases, beer here is relegated to jelly jars.  Now, while I do embrace my southern heritage and I am not afraid of a Mason jar in any way, it did feel off-putting to be served in a jar at this location.  This is a fine-dining establishment with super-modern decor, located in some of the trendiest real estate in St. Petersburg.  As I looked around I could spy nothing that would be considered quaint or kitschy, everything was thoroughly modern and well-appointed, luxurious even.  The only way I can interpret this decision on the part of Annata's management is that while they do serve beer in order to cater a little to everyone, if you are uncouth enough to order beer at Annata, they will serve it up to you in the most redneck way possible, as if they were handing you a dunce cap and sending you to the corner for time out.  Basically they're saying that everyone else here is dining at Annata Restaurant & Wine Bar, but your table is now a honky-tonk BBQ joint...because it has beer on it.

Pork Shoulder

   
     When the entrees arrived I had to chuckle a little at the portion size, but they already knew by the Mason jar of beer beside me that I was going to have such an outburst when I was presented with these "haute cuisine," toddler-sized portions.  You see, the entrees are on the pricey end, but the portions are minuscule, the kind of thing you look at to admire, something to be appreciated with the eyes and nose, not something to eat.  I ordered the pork shoulder, and as a person who has actually seen the shoulder on a live pig, it was humorous to see 4 or 5 ounces of pork and a dab of mustard in the middle of a plate and call it "pork shoulder".  It was expertly prepared, sweet and savory at the same time, and paired with the stone-ground mustard beneath it, it was a real treat, the mustard serving as a sort of catalyst and adding tang to the overall flavor landscape.
   
     The grouper was well-seasoned, also a small portion, though not so humorously small as the pork.  The "farro tabuleh" underneath the grouper was a bit of a surprise; the word "tabuleh" typically conjures images of tomato and parsley, but this tabuleh was primarily a pile of whole grain.  Normally on a low-carb regimen, I readjusted my definition of tabuleh and enjoyed it to the last grain.
   
Dessert:
     This area is packed with options, we had to go for a walk and discover dessert down the street.  By the end of dinner the small place was packed, there was not a seat to be had, either inside or out.  Service slowed considerably, as if Saturday night on St. Petersburg's trendiest strip had somehow taken them by surprise, or staff had unexpectedly called off work.  While the waiter did bring my check quickly enough,  I waited and waited for him to come take my cash.  I was half way through scripting a fake heart attack on the floor when he finally came back to take my money.  I'm usually a pretty patient customer as I have been on the other side of the transaction before.  I don't remember the last time I started plotting to fake a heart attack on  a restaurant floor, or anywhere else, for that matter.  It took at least 10 minutes to decide to plan the attack, and I was about 5 minutes into the planning phase before he came and took the cover.  Five more minutes of planning and another 5 minutes of self-doubt in my ability to pull off such a stunt and I assure you a dozen patrons would have been dialing for an ambulance before I could hand the cover to the server.
   
Overall:
     It was a pleasant experience, if a bit outside my middle-class, middle-American comfort zone, and I'm giving them a solid 4.0/5.0 on my own scale.  Fortunately we did research the place online before we went, and it is in a pretty high-brow locale, so the comical "made for TV" portion sizes and myopic, über-foodie stuffiness were not a total surprise at the door.  Service was only slow when they were totally slammed and the rest of the time it was prompt and courteous.  I really do think they would see a revenue increase if they ditched the pointless water glasses and went with something more utilitarian.  So now for the truth or consequences:

1)  Would I recommend the place?  Yes, with the above caveats.  While Florida is a land abundantly blessed with many things, we do tend to lack fine dining on a lot of our beaches.  This is a bit of a drive from some of the beach areas, but if you're staying in the southern half of Pinellas County, it is an attractive option, especially if you're celebrating something and you'd like to go somewhere fancier than burgers at the beach.
2)  Would I go back?  Yes again, but I will not accept beer in a jar.  It's not a barbecue joint, so the jar is purposely out of place, either serve me beer with respect, or take it off the menu, don't treat me like the kid who has to sit in the corner at school.  And besides, even the most poorly-educated patron you could find will know that the only beverage you can properly and politely serve in a Mason jar is moonshine.